gigsplurge 2: coldplay & terris, march 2000

Coldplay & Terris, The Point, Oxford, 13 March 2000

This was a proper bloody stinker. The two bands had been hyped by the NME as, respectively, the new Radiohead and the new Joy Division, on the strength of an EP and a single. Both niches made sense: Radiohead's release of Kid A a few months later left a gap in the market for a band willing to write tunes for teenagers, rather than dirges for opponents of globalisation; borrowing from Joy Division proved a successful formula for bands throughout the decade.

No joy. Chris Martin pratted and yodelled in curly fright-wig and baggy jumper. Terris, long-forgotten, provided more cheap thrills. Less a 21st-century Joy Division, more a post-punk Bon Jovi from south Wales: tunes-free and anxious, with plenty of arm-waving--co-ordinated on the choruses, otherwise not.

What separated these two lousy outfits, such that one became the UK's biggest musical export in decades (Coldplay, for those not following), while the other sank so fast, and earned so little affection, that there is no trace of them even on youtube (...Terris)?

The difference between Coldplay in front of twenty blokes in an Oxford pub and Coldplay in front of 20,000 couples in the Reese's Peanut Butter Arena, -----sville, appears to be little more than refinement. Out went the baggy jumper and curly 'fro, in came singing lessons, natty jackets and the odd piano line. Someone clearly saw the goblin in the marble on this one, and he's a richer man than I.