Thursday, 6 August 2009

Men and their hats


Slaughterhouse is a boyband aimed at twenty- and thirty-something rap fans who spend a lot of time on the web, and who feel that things "used to be better". Their debut album--also named Slaughterhouse, to belabour the point--follows a series of unofficial mixtapes including, somewhat gloriously, one called The Leaked Shit. The key points being:
  • to 'step up' from the 'mixtape scene' with an album that is 'shorter' and 'more focused', full of unfamiliar tunes by cheap producers;
  • lots of boasting, some of it recorded after Michael Jackson died;
  • to sell some records to people who buy records;
  • the condition of being "on one's grind"; and
  • to not be the lousiest member of Slaughterhouse.
What with the emphasis on bombast and dense rhyme schemes, there isn't much to separate our four musketeers: the lack of variety in the pacing, flows and concepts is the reason this isn't too much fun after four or five tracks. All of this lot have free mixtapes on offer, mostly superior, though when this works, it's very good. But let's try to tease apart these rapping buddies:

Joe Budden
is an Atlas of self-regard, forever shouldering the weight of public indifference to his career in the entertainment industry. At one stage, he suggests something like "I had a fight with my shadow after he dissed me on Twitter", which, even in jest, suggests he lacks more perspective than a high-mediaeval cyclops. No Bushwick Bill. Playing with other kids helps Joe a bit here, encouraging him to 'come out of his shell' and 'pack it in for a bit', though his chums do indulge him with a couple of unlistenable moaning Tupac-style "aksk God why" tracks towards the end. On the front cover, Joe is pictured sporting a hat.

Joell Ortiz
has a deep-seated need for affection and approval, what with his 'class joker' schtick, his breathless reverence for everything old, and his funny beard. I do hope this potential weakness doesn't lead him to fall in with the wrong crowd, for Joell's principal poke-power is helpfulness: his ad-libs, hooks and serviceable raps hold the album together. Given more confidence, he could have made Slaughterhouse more than the sum of its parts. As it is, this has neither the sense of place to match his The Brick: Bodega Chronicles nor the versatility and fun that marked Covers the Classics. On the front cover, Joell is pictured sporting a hat.

Crooked I
has a simple job, which he fulfils creditably. Whereas New York is made of burning dustbins, hard knocks, jazz, and concrete stuff, Crooked's native Los Angles is a cartoon city, full of curvy women, sticky weed, funk, and colourful gang handkerchiefs. The album could have done with a few more tracks that played up these contrasts, and a few more beats favouring his behind-the-beat, half-whispered flow; at times, he is indistinguishable. On the front cover, Crooked I is pictured sporting a hat.

Royce da 5' 9"
is best suited to mixtapes, where he can say jaw-droppingly unpleasant things in exceptionally complex metres without interference from 'radio', 'A&R dudes' or 'Tipper Gore'. Not that Slughterhouse are going to be guesting on Graham Norton anytime soon, but albums seem to cramp Royce's style. Is he willing himself to fail? Would he like to share with the group? Again, the production doesn't flatter him: running barmy adenoidal rings around beats only succeeds as long as the beats can carry the song. On the front cover, Royce da 5' 9" is pictured sporting a hat.

Here's the most bangingest track:


Wednesday, 11 March 2009

best behaviour

if i could sing, i would sing 'never turn your back on mother earth' by sparks.

sparks - 'never turn your back on mother earth'

given half a chance, i would do so while riding on the bonnet of a car, carrying a massive sword. the result would be pretty faithful, moderately countrified, and would sit comfortably towards the middle of my well-received album about love and the forces of nature.


there's nothing silly about this, so why you choose to hate?

buy neko
buy sparks

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

sloop jay dee

GMS has never been a raving apostle for james 'j "jay dee" dilla' yancey, possibly because i don't smoke weed / take myself seriously / own an expensive stereo / respect the dead.

however, i was surfing the internet, looking for pictures of young men playing with goats, when i came across this:


i think this is from a while back. it's by a chap called bullion. well done, that man. it's good because hearing snippets of songs i know makes me feel cool, knowledgeable and safe.

nobody tell mike love, please.

beach boys / j dilla - 'here today'
beach boys / j dilla - 'i know there's an answer'

Monday, 9 March 2009

liquor and poker

i'm pleased - moved, even - that cam'ron has worked a "barely even know her" gag into his new record. i invented that gag, children, but cam'ron can have this one for free.

cam'ron ' 'cookies and apple juice'

i'm even more impressed that he's dovetailed it with a reference to the Flying Scotsman.

it's downhill from there, though - i think he's talking about wee.

Saturday, 7 March 2009

final level boss

here's footage of my chemical romance completing rock band on 'moderate difficulty'. hark - they've unlocked bob dylan.



is this emo, though? i'm keen to know where i stand.

Saturday, 28 February 2009

"a universal language"?: the cultural semantics of busta rhymes' "arab money (remix)"

to post this ridiculous video any fewer than six times would be an act of disrespect. it might even be racist.



to achieve the best effect: start video 1; after ten seconds, start video 2; start subsequent videos at 10-second intervals; when video 1 ends, start the process again. we're through the looking glass here, people.



t.i. shows up towards the end. as t.i. is on house arrest for buying a machine gun in a pub car park, presumably this is what t.i.'s house looks like.



acorn: "let me exchange the currency 'cos it's all foreign". does acorn look sad to you? like a really deep, existential sadness?


at first i was confused and a little nonplussed. then i became angry, then hungry. after that, diddy turned up, and i started to feel nostalgic and rather warm. i did the pointing dance a couple of times, but i wasn't grinning enough to make it work. after it was all over, i went and had some yoghurt.



where is spliffstarr?

Friday, 20 February 2009

NME Awards Tour - Glasvegas, Friendly Fires, White Lies, Florence and the Machine


I haven’t been to any of these 80s revival package tours, where they have hen parties and David Van Day and possibly other cool 80s stuff like remote-control cars and Saint and Greavsie. But this NME gig provided a general sense of it, albeit with shitter tunes, less alcoholic sports presenters, and a toilet venue (RIP the C***ing Academy, long live the O2 Academy).

Florence and the Machine are like bands that journalists compare to Kate Bush, with a leavening dose of Kate Nash. Florence – for ‘tis her – does lots of toothy head-girl yelling, and really is quite enthusiastic. There’s lots of dressing up involved, but none of the intimacy that this kooky-lady template seems to be based upon. The effect is less Kate Bush and more T’Pau, except that T’Pau were completely awesome.

T’Pau – ‘China In Your Hand’


White Lies are preposterously serious, like an entry-level Interpol with occasionally operatic vocals copped from Bruce Dickinson by way of emo. The lyrics don’t bear scrutiny, but at least with keyboards you’re guaranteed a couple of tunes, and the Lies deliver, tolerably. The effect is less OMD and more Ultravox, except that Ultravox were completely awesome.

Ultravox – ‘Vienna’


Friendly Fires skew this 80s revival thing a bit by sounding like one of those grim dance-punk bands from the early 00s, like the Rapture or Radio 4 or what-have-you. At a push, they’re like the Happy Mondays, except with a plummy voice nonentity instead of a lardy Mancunian drug-hoover as a frontman, and with no knack for dub or funk or house. So, then, less like the Mondays and more like one of the bands Factory signed after the Mondays made it big, I guess. Incidentally, Happy Mondays were completely awesome.

Happy Mondays – ‘Kinky Afro’


Glasvegas are supposed to be the Jesus & Mary Chain crossed with the Proclaimers, but they have nothing to do with the economy and wit of either. Tonight it’s all chest-beating and yearning howls, which is to say, more like Simple Minds. I can’t vouch for whether Simple Minds were completely awesome: I suppose not, but given the logic of this review, maybe I’ll have to revise that opinion.

Glasvegas play throbbingly loud, which suggests they caught a My Bloody Valentine concert last summer. Occasionally this works, as on aggressive terrace shouters like ‘Go Square Go’ and Tonight-with-Trevor-MacDonald-style emotive sucker-punches like ‘Daddy’s Gone’ and ‘Flowers and Football Tops’. The rest of the time, it only unbalances their odd combination of yelling, girl-groups, Elvis, RAT-pedals, and late-90s Manics.

To be fair, all these NME package tours are a shower. As far as they go, this one wasn’t bad. I hope they all become big and famous, like the Coldplay or the Killers, and don’t disappear without trace, like the Llama Farmers or Alfie: that way, I’ll end up feeling pretty ‘with it’, as far as that goes.

Monday, 16 February 2009

si


songs called 'yes' > songs called 'no'

transexual prostitute 'yes':
manic street preachers - 'yes' (live at the astoria, december 1994)
pour out a little liquor for the astoria. dead with the mystery jets and the black kids on the front of the venue. shameful shit.

idiot savant 'yes':
lil' wayne (feat. pharrell) - 'yes'
this is the best neptunes thing since 'nothin' by NORE.

mcalmont & butler 'yes':
mcalmont & butler - 'yes'


that's that, then.

Saturday, 14 February 2009

uke sighting

beard? check.
willie nelson cover? check.
'95-era will oldham steez? check.
ukulele? bingo.

phosphorescent - 'too sick to pray', 'at death'


more phosphorescent on GMS

buy to willie